Foreword:
“You should have known better”
But, I didn’t. I didn’t know better, and here’s why…
I was ten. When he first laid eyes on me, I was ten years old. He knocked up my sister, a senior in high school vs his mid-twenties. It was a shotgun wedding, and quickly became “the way it was”… staying overnight to babysit at their house in town.
He was nice to me. He didn’t mind what I now know are my Aspie-driven questions. He nick-named me “Sexy”, as in, “Hi Sexy!,” as a greeting, and no one thought anything of it. I had no idea of any other connotations, yet, and I honestly don’t think he did either. Yes,I realize everyone thinks I’m going to throw hate and shade at “him”. It’s “them”, actually, and Shade, yes. Hate, no.
In my decades long and, often, misguided quest to heal, learn, and grow - ultimately leading to my become a Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner (NLP) specializing in cPTSD and Relational Sexuality - I have learned that the “language of society” set him up for his perversion. It does not excuse his actions, but understanding how we ALL set children up to be commoditized sexually is the only path to building awareness in the general public. And that is what we need - preventative awareness. Awareness, not Shame for the self; Shame for the family.
Awareness leads to clearer vision - leads to understanding - leads to ACTION!
It’s not enough to try to protect our children from sexual predators - NOT “monsters” - Predators. It’s an important distinction and more about that later. Suffice it, for the purposes of this Foreward, to say that we must PERSONALLY take the targets OFF of our children’s backs. And, back to the top, it starts with the language of society.
I want you to NOT feel sorry for me. Don’t just be moved by my soul. Be encouraged by my strength. Become self-aware from my conviction. Be energized to action, not just by your empathy and compassion, but by the lightning-bolt realization that every child you know is a walking target, and every woman or man, a potential secret Survivor.
It is in that light that I have written this book and workshop. It is in the light of healing the whole of society, as well as the heart and soul of each Survivor of childhood sexual assault and/or sexual trafficking that I bare my soul and show you the path I’m clearing for you. I present to you, “SELF TALK: My continuing efforts to survive childhood sexual grooming and assault”, AND it’s associated CSA cPTSD Workshop, “Survive in S-P-A-D-E-S! Six Steps from Trigger to Happy!” I’ve decided to put them together in one book so a Survivor reading can choose to heal alongside my personal introspections and social macro-analyses. Buckle up. The landing is SWEET, but the ride will be bumpy. It is my intention to leave you, not depleted, but exhilarated and engaged!
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